Fed up…as per…

I am so sick of being tired all day, resisting as much as I can not to “nap”, then when it gets to 9pm or so, feeling so tired I could sleep for a month, then “BOOM”, my brain fully engages in what ever it decides to, to prevent me from switching off and going to sleep.

We bought a new bed recently, and I haven’t even spent one night in it yet. I’m getting so effed of with it, its getting me down.

My brain wants to shutdown at the wrong times, and insist on keeping me awake when I should be sleeping.

“ARRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!”

I’ve tried sleep aids and they do feck all, I’ve tried drinking alcohol to make me pass out and that doesn’t seem to work (properly) either.
I’m fed up of it now, all I want to be able to do is switch off, go to a nice warm bed and go asleep without waking until morning (and not disturbing anybody else with (perhaps lol) snoring)….

 

Exciting perhaps…

Over the last couple of months a lot has changed.
Through my own choice, I am now a stay at home dad having quit work to support my wife. As my wife is her fathers full time carer, its made it an extra strain, and so with that followed my resignation.
Sad to leave, but family come first.
Of course this also means I will be attempting to update my sites quicker and more often, although, my luck in this area has been a little less than “nothing”.
However, we shall see over the coming months…

Hi All,

Long time no see…
Well, truth is, I’ve been a little self absorbed.
Ultimately trying to sort my head out.

Those who know me will know that from time to time I go through phases where I pretty much think “Screw it all!”.

Over these last few months, it has been one of those times and even now I’m having trouble focusing on things I really should be.

This blog is the only place where I feel I can speak openly and freely without ridicule or judgment.
At the moment, I’m just concentrating on being me, rather than trying to please people all the time.

I’m not very good and speaking in the fullest abouts my feelings etc, but a little part of my emotions comes out one in a while in posts etc.
Nobody likes to read the rantings of a moaner I guess, and thats probably why everyone tends to see me as “fun loving” Roy which sometimes is a strain in itself.

Anywhoo, this is the way I deal with things, so thats that off my chest 🙂

I must really get my arse into gear an work on the site lol

Regards

Roy

first post of 2013

what can I say? with everything going off in my life nothing had been updated!

I’m fed up of just not being able to get things done, and it seems I just constantly post things saying just that.
As always, work, family, stress, tiredness and totally random events are stopping me from doing the work I want to do.

The main site is progressing but not at the pace I would like, and at the time of writing, it is still in maintainence mode.
I’ve pushed back the relaunch date twice now and wondering if it will ever be back online at all.

Hopefully I will be able to make some headway over the next couple of days as I have some annual leave booked in, plus if this snow continues, I may not be able to get to work…

We shall see…

More reasons to prove this country is turning to shit

This idiotic and pathetic government are driving people into poverty, nothing new there.
But a new tactic the DWP have imposed is stricter control over the JSA claimant.
Basically and in short, the DWP can restrict payments if you do not apply for or attend work based activities. In addition if you leave a job voluntarily or be sacked from a job for misconduct, you will have your money stopped for up to 3 years, depending how many times you offended. But, what if you’re sacked from an unscrupulous employee who marks it as gross misconduct etc.
I agree with some of the policy, in regards to people getting JSA but not seeking work, they should be stopped.
The thing I disagree with is the whole JSA agreement. I have (personally) been FORCED into signing an agreement that could/would cause issues at home etc. They have said, as I rely on public transport, they have told me I can travel for up to 90 minutes. This is forcing me to look too far a field, as they think point A to point B is within 90 minutes, but don’t take into consideration the length of the journey, routes the bus takes etc. But if I refuse to look for a job they consider is within 90 minutes or I don’t apply for what they tell me about, they can stop my money. They have even told me that I even have to consider (their word for forced) jobs that finish at 10pm. So worse case scenario, I finish at 10pm, have to travel 90mins so that’s 11.30pm, but considering my bus services’ last bus is 10.30pm, I would be stranded, unable to get home. I couldn’t even ask my wife to pick me up in the car, because we have 2 children that would be in bed.
After all this, these arseholes have had the audacity to say if I am unsuccessful in the work I’m looking for, I will be found work in a factory, and that’s basically tough shit.
So in short, the DWP are forcing people to take jobs they maybe no good at, or have no experience in, that may destroy your family life by stupid and unrealistic travel arrangements and destroy any dreams or aspirations you have of getting the job you want, just so they can ultimately say “unemployment down”.
Personally, I want a job, I don’t like living on benefits. I’ve worked most of my adult life and through no fault of my own I’ve been left without work, and feel degraded because I’m treated like those scroungers that get dole money to get pissed or stoned!
Absolutely disgraceful this country and what its become.
England is turning to shit, thanks to the powers that be…

Not a good evening !

ARRRRRGHHHH!!!!
One of my major hard drives has just failed, and to make matters worse, the backup (on a separate drive) is corrupt for some reason!

So there has been little to no work done on the main site.
Not a happy bunny. I’ve tried everything to get the drive back online but with very little joy.
The disk has reportedly got a corrupt filesystem, but doing what I do, and knowing what I know I cannot get the bugger to work. The only option I now have is to image the drive then recover/search for files :0(

GRRRRR!!!

All in good time

This new pace of work life is going to take it’s toll as far as site & software development goes. That’s just life unfortunately.

I have, sort of, planned my time around my family (as they will always come first), so updates may be thin on the ground until we can weed out bits and pieces.
I mainly update and develop of an evening or when it’s feasible to do so, ie when Jack is asleep on his day naps etc, but as tiredness is my main enemy sometimes the best laid plans are disrupted by the dreaded zzz factor :0)

Anyway, at least if there is a gap between updates there would be more content in single posts instead of multiple little posts.

Speaking of the zzz factor, it’s ganged up on me now, so nite nite. x0/

More updates

More added to website today.
I’ve started to upload my art work, my music and some random files such as the games I’ve found from around the web.

Eventually (and once I’ve figured out how) I will be added my games section with all the shockwave flash games I’ve come across.

But for now, this chicken is off to bed, nitey nite