Fed up…as per…

I am so sick of being tired all day, resisting as much as I can not to “nap”, then when it gets to 9pm or so, feeling so tired I could sleep for a month, then “BOOM”, my brain fully engages in what ever it decides to, to prevent me from switching off and going to sleep.

We bought a new bed recently, and I haven’t even spent one night in it yet. I’m getting so effed of with it, its getting me down.

My brain wants to shutdown at the wrong times, and insist on keeping me awake when I should be sleeping.

“ARRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!”

I’ve tried sleep aids and they do feck all, I’ve tried drinking alcohol to make me pass out and that doesn’t seem to work (properly) either.
I’m fed up of it now, all I want to be able to do is switch off, go to a nice warm bed and go asleep without waking until morning (and not disturbing anybody else with (perhaps lol) snoring)….

 

Here I am again…

I’ve slowly started getting back into my domain again.
I’ve started by blowing the dust of my Ubuntu system, giving it a good clean and update and then started to look at my domain.

Anybody who knows me will tend to realize I am quite a quiet person, who will very rarely share personal thoughts or go into detail about the things that affect me.
Needless to say, this is one of those times again, where I have had to pull myself out off a spell of depression.
I dare say I am not fully out of it, and it is probably one of the longest periods of depression I have faced to date.
I’m not going to go into mega amounts of detail, and I will stress that this and previous posts are not a cry out for help, it’s not a sympathy vote, it is merely the way I cope with things, a release if you will.
Never the less, hopefully, I will be engaging more with the domain and I may end up picking up old software projects and see if I can’t give it a new lease of life.

Right now, I am looking at my site and thinking “does that need to be there”.
I’ve said it before, countless times that the site lacks direction and purpose.

I have too many things on the go and I’m finding it impossible to do it all. From additions to updates I am failing.

So whilst the site itself may seem a little redundant and very little changes, behind the scenes I am tackling the tough decisions of what to keep and what to axe.
The main reason I have that many things on the go with the domain is purely because I like the software. It may sound strange, but I like to learn new things, so installing new software to try out and learn is mainly the reason I do it in the first place.

So, the plan is, is to cut down on the crap, shave down what I’ll keep and stick to some sort of order that is manageable and not critically time-consuming.

As always to the people who regularly visit or contact me, thank you.

Its been a while…

Todays post is not about the site etc, more of something a little bit strange. Possibly even paranormal, who knows.
Read more Its been a while…

first post of 2013

what can I say? with everything going off in my life nothing had been updated!

I’m fed up of just not being able to get things done, and it seems I just constantly post things saying just that.
As always, work, family, stress, tiredness and totally random events are stopping me from doing the work I want to do.

The main site is progressing but not at the pace I would like, and at the time of writing, it is still in maintainence mode.
I’ve pushed back the relaunch date twice now and wondering if it will ever be back online at all.

Hopefully I will be able to make some headway over the next couple of days as I have some annual leave booked in, plus if this snow continues, I may not be able to get to work…

We shall see…

It’s been a while…

Yeah, it has really
With everything going on in my life at the moment, I haven’t had time to scratch my arse let alone update anything

However, RBCJ Hub is being prepped for a major update. From the 1st of December 2012 phase 1 will begin, which means the site will be offline for a while.
Updates and messages will appear on the main page and certainly any pertinent news and updates will appear on here.
I have no idea as yet as to the timescale the hub will be offline, but hopefully as part of phase 1, I should have some clearer idea during this time.

That’s all the news I have for today folks.
Thanks for visiting and as usual, please keep coming back for more updates and offerings.

Roy

Could someone answer me this…?

I try to live my life by the fact of “Life is about getting knocked down, living is about getting back up!”
Simple concept…but at any stage in my life, am I actually going to get a break.

The amount of crap I have to go through on a daily basis, dealing with phone calls, speaking to incompetent people. I’m sure people do it just to get some perverse pleasure out of it.

I tell you something, if I ruled the world, a would put all the stupid people on one island so they could be arseholes to each other and gradually destroy themselves.

I’m so sick and tired of posts on here being negative, and yeah I know “Stop posting them then!”.
Its a fair point, I admit, but I want to get thinks off my chest before I start smashing my head against a brick wall.
I just want to be able to write something good, thats good about me.
I know I’ve got family, and thats another side of me, its the other part of me, as in myself.

Its hard to explain, and I don’t want it to come across as me not appreciating my family, because they’re all awesome, my wife, my daughter and my son.

Grrrr….sometimes I think I hate life, and life hates me!

I’m just pissing and moaning I guess. I’ll shut up for now :o)

I am absolutely fuming to say the least…

As people close to me may know, a member of my family (father) is going through the agonising torment that is an ATOS medical.
In short, anyone that is looking at migrating the Incapacity Benefit over to ESA (Employment Support Allowance) have to go through a shambolic medical assessment.
The so called medical professional, have done nothing short of lie, fabricated and twist anything and everything they could on father’s assessment.

It is disgusting the shear depths they will goto to prevent someone from claiming this benefit. The assessor my father had the misfortune to encounter came across as the perfect medical assessor. Curtious, polite and even seemed to show empathy for my father’s condition, even “cried” at one stage. Turns out she was a total bitch, clever in deception and clearly thinking of the pound signs. Words can’t express the anger and hatred I feel towards that smug little bitch behind her desk….grrrrrr
Anyway, we recieved the ESA85, the form that this, person, had compiled.
To name a few “problems” with the report;

  • Wrongly documenting my father medication, purposely I might add. Medication was shown which included dosage, type and side effects. Medication was halfed, and “apparently” no side effects for the type of medication.
  • Assumed on several points what my father is capable of, under the mental cognitive descriptors, some never even answered on the form.
  • Inconsistant and misleading information entered onto form, such as; Able to walk 200 metres with 5-6 stops at 5 minutes rest time, but then later suggests can walk 400 metres with 6-7 stops at 5 minutes rest time…You work out the math on that one.
  • Assumed that my Father takes my children (at time of writing 8 years old and 8 month old) to the park to play. A couple of points there; A) He’s my father, I love him to bits, but there is no way in hell would I allow him to take my children to the park. B) My father would be unable to supervise or play with them and be aware of dangers to himself, never mind my children.
  • Assumed that my father is able to do 2 consecutive personal actions without problems. One example I have that my father is unable to do, seperate washing in to appropriate loads ie color, temp types etc, then take the to the washing machine and set the program. Another example, looking in the fridge or pantry etc, noticing what items are needed, jotting them down then going to the shops and getting the items from the list.
  • Lies, of one example “suffers from breathing difficulties as a result of an operation in regards to a Haitus Hernia, no specialist input”, yet on the next line “Has a prescribed inhaler for breathing difficulties.” How the hell can you not have specialist input, and get a PRESCRIBED inhaler? Also, my father has regular “Breathing” reviews regards to this condition.
  • Apparently is able to write short messages and convey them to strangers. A) Not sure how they tested this one, as my father was never asked or completed a “test” to jog anything down, or relate that information back. But in short, my father cannot even have a conversation and tell you five minutes later what it was about.

In short, the list goes on.
I’ve also read today that those arseholes at ATOS are getting bonuses for getting people thrown off benefits, in addition, these so called heath-care professionals are not qualified in the field they are supposed to when dealing with clients, ie Mental Registered Nurse for clients with mental disorders etc. But try questioning one of the qualifications and you’re asking for a whole heap of trouble.
They are systematically destroying people’s lives.
This country has gone to shit since this new coalition came in.
I don’t normally swear in extreme ways, but they are total fucking bastards!

If anyone out there reading this post in in the UK and going through the hellish onslaught of these self-centred, greedy & heartless bastards, and needing help, please visit;
dwpexamination.org
They offer a world of expertise and experience from people who have gone through these problems, and certainly the people on there are an invaluable resource for dealing with these bastards.

I know I’m not doing this for myself, but certainly, I’m really feeling the stress of it all. If I’m being brutally honest, I think my dad will end up back in hospital. Not a nice thought.

Bits and bobs

After a lot of crap circulating around Facebook in the way of sick, distressing and upsetting images, I have decided to stand-up for what I believe in a have boycotted Facebook for 7 days in a silent protest.

I know its not going to do anything, but it is the principles of it. I’m sick of wading through countless images that shouldn’t even be on there, yet Facebook do nothing to remove them.

My argument is this, Facebook allow 13+ year olds to register, and certainly there is content on there that shouldn’t be viewed by 13-18years, yet still continues to be allowed. Why?
In my view it is because Facebook are too bothered about “Profit” to not allow content, and deliberately¬†hold off as long as possible before removing the offending item(s) just so they can get more profit out of people who create or upload this image(s) or page(s).

Its wrong, and therefore, this is my silent protest.
Just to give you an idea of what I’m talking about, there are page(s) being create with such names as “Wank Bank”, what does this tell you?
The post images which can only be described as mild porn, and whilst I use the term “Mild”, it should not be accessed to minors (<18 years old). I’m no prude, and yes, I’m partial to a little female nudity, but this is ridiculous.
If porn sites where to allow minors to access this content (by way of lack of security checks) they would be shutdown, yet Facebook seem to be able to get away with it until someone reports it.
But even on that score, when people do report it, Facebook have a very, VERY basic way of reporting it, and sometimes the options available may not necessarily¬†be a true reflection as to why you are reporting it in the first place. This, again, leaves it open to Facebook saying it doesn’t infringe any policy they have resulting in the content being allowed.

I know it’s all about profit, but this is stupid the way Facebook can get around moral issues the way they do.
I’m thinking of switching altogether to Twitter, less hassle.
Rant over, because the more I type, the more I get pissed off with it all…

Time for a Kitkat

I’m beginning to feel like my faulty hard drive, in limbo!
I can’t seem to make head way or certainly struggling to find motivation to crack on with the site. I think I’ve burnt myself out trying to get everything done all at once.
So, I think I’m going to take a break from developing the ‘front end, user facing’ part of the site and concentrate on the ‘back end’ of things.
I may even have a break altogether just so I can have a breather.
The main problem with me, is I want everything done, and I want it done yesterday. I need to pace myself and use my time wisely, considering that I appear to be trying to ‘burn the candle at both ends’ and then try to be a normal everyday dad/husband and resident nutter!!!
Besides, overall the site is doing pretty well on it’s own for the moment (although a site is only as good as it’s content).

I think a break ‘full stop’ is in order to recharge the motivational batteries and develop (on paper, offline) the site.
I plan to “officially” release the site by the end of this year, so I need to be clear of everything.

Anywhoo, enough of my rantings about the sites development…how is everyone??? LoL