Hi All,

Long time no see…
Well, truth is, I’ve been a little self absorbed.
Ultimately trying to sort my head out.

Those who know me will know that from time to time I go through phases where I pretty much think “Screw it all!”.

Over these last few months, it has been one of those times and even now I’m having trouble focusing on things I really should be.

This blog is the only place where I feel I can speak openly and freely without ridicule or judgment.
At the moment, I’m just concentrating on being me, rather than trying to please people all the time.

I’m not very good and speaking in the fullest abouts my feelings etc, but a little part of my emotions comes out one in a while in posts etc.
Nobody likes to read the rantings of a moaner I guess, and thats probably why everyone tends to see me as “fun loving” Roy which sometimes is a strain in itself.

Anywhoo, this is the way I deal with things, so thats that off my chest 🙂

I must really get my arse into gear an work on the site lol

Regards

Roy

I’m still here…

Yes, I am actually here…
Over the past couple of months or so I have been battling with depression again and so much so that I am now on anti-depressants.

Read more I’m still here…

Depression raises its ugly head again…

Yet again a number of factors are causing me to get down again.
I cant seem to pin point the exact cause, but I know it could be a number of things.
There just seems to be too many brick walls to run into, and not enough straight roads to cruise down.

Times are a changin’

And so I start work tomorrow. I must admit I’m a little apprehensive. Maybe it’s because I’ve gotten used to being at home and the fact I wanted to stay at home to bring up Jack.
I’m not saying that I won’t work, it’s just I had little time with Caitlin when she was born because I spent most of my time at work. I just didn’t want to miss out this time.
Maybe I am being selfish, but I can’t help the way I feel. I had such plans but as most of the things in my life, they’re dashed.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not having a go at anyone, such as babs my wife. It’s the situation that screwed us over.
I suppose in one way it would be nice to start afresh but who knows?
We shall see…

One step forward…

two steps back.
Thats how things are feeling at the moment…
Got a lot, and I mean A LOT, swimming around my head at the moment and can’t seem to shake off this low state of mind.

I’ll keep writing as much as I can, purely for my own benefit, it helps get things of my chest.

I just there will be some resolution to all this stress. Its hard to concentrate on even the basic of things, and when all the days feel the same, thats when it starts to get to the point where I thinkg “Why bother!”.
I can’t seem to enjoy things to their fullest at the moment. Still, gotta keep plodding on right?

Could someone answer me this…?

I try to live my life by the fact of “Life is about getting knocked down, living is about getting back up!”
Simple concept…but at any stage in my life, am I actually going to get a break.

The amount of crap I have to go through on a daily basis, dealing with phone calls, speaking to incompetent people. I’m sure people do it just to get some perverse pleasure out of it.

I tell you something, if I ruled the world, a would put all the stupid people on one island so they could be arseholes to each other and gradually destroy themselves.

I’m so sick and tired of posts on here being negative, and yeah I know “Stop posting them then!”.
Its a fair point, I admit, but I want to get thinks off my chest before I start smashing my head against a brick wall.
I just want to be able to write something good, thats good about me.
I know I’ve got family, and thats another side of me, its the other part of me, as in myself.

Its hard to explain, and I don’t want it to come across as me not appreciating my family, because they’re all awesome, my wife, my daughter and my son.

Grrrr….sometimes I think I hate life, and life hates me!

I’m just pissing and moaning I guess. I’ll shut up for now :o)