Could someone answer me this…?

I try to live my life by the fact of “Life is about getting knocked down, living is about getting back up!”
Simple concept…but at any stage in my life, am I actually going to get a break.

The amount of crap I have to go through on a daily basis, dealing with phone calls, speaking to incompetent people. I’m sure people do it just to get some perverse pleasure out of it.

I tell you something, if I ruled the world, a would put all the stupid people on one island so they could be arseholes to each other and gradually destroy themselves.

I’m so sick and tired of posts on here being negative, and yeah I know “Stop posting them then!”.
Its a fair point, I admit, but I want to get thinks off my chest before I start smashing my head against a brick wall.
I just want to be able to write something good, thats good about me.
I know I’ve got family, and thats another side of me, its the other part of me, as in myself.

Its hard to explain, and I don’t want it to come across as me not appreciating my family, because they’re all awesome, my wife, my daughter and my son.

Grrrr….sometimes I think I hate life, and life hates me!

I’m just pissing and moaning I guess. I’ll shut up for now :o)

Bits and bobs

After a lot of crap circulating around Facebook in the way of sick, distressing and upsetting images, I have decided to stand-up for what I believe in a have boycotted Facebook for 7 days in a silent protest.

I know its not going to do anything, but it is the principles of it. I’m sick of wading through countless images that shouldn’t even be on there, yet Facebook do nothing to remove them.

My argument is this, Facebook allow 13+ year olds to register, and certainly there is content on there that shouldn’t be viewed by 13-18years, yet still continues to be allowed. Why?
In my view it is because Facebook are too bothered about “Profit” to not allow content, and deliberately¬†hold off as long as possible before removing the offending item(s) just so they can get more profit out of people who create or upload this image(s) or page(s).

Its wrong, and therefore, this is my silent protest.
Just to give you an idea of what I’m talking about, there are page(s) being create with such names as “Wank Bank”, what does this tell you?
The post images which can only be described as mild porn, and whilst I use the term “Mild”, it should not be accessed to minors (<18 years old). I’m no prude, and yes, I’m partial to a little female nudity, but this is ridiculous.
If porn sites where to allow minors to access this content (by way of lack of security checks) they would be shutdown, yet Facebook seem to be able to get away with it until someone reports it.
But even on that score, when people do report it, Facebook have a very, VERY basic way of reporting it, and sometimes the options available may not necessarily¬†be a true reflection as to why you are reporting it in the first place. This, again, leaves it open to Facebook saying it doesn’t infringe any policy they have resulting in the content being allowed.

I know it’s all about profit, but this is stupid the way Facebook can get around moral issues the way they do.
I’m thinking of switching altogether to Twitter, less hassle.
Rant over, because the more I type, the more I get pissed off with it all…

British Gas price rise poem

Another crap poem
So British gas have again risen their prices,
yet peoples income get worse into crisis,
To keep warm in the cold is hard, its a chore,
And the bullshit to justify is especially a bore
So here’s a message, said firm but quite gently
To the man, the director, the one they call bentley
Tis the time of winter and this rise is a farce
But rest assured dear sir, you can shove my winter bill right up your fat….

About me – The unofficial paperback version

I suppose its customary to include a ‘about me’ section so he’s my section.
I think I’ll start from when I was 18, because that was when major changes occurred in my life.
I left home at 18 to live with my girlfriend and her son.
Career wise, I was working part-time with a small computer company, who maintained and upgraded servers overnight.

I learnt quite a bit there, but having no direct involvement, meant hands-on experience was very limited.By day, I was a student, enrolled on an open college network course in computing.
There I studied all the usual, spreadsheets, databases and word processing etc, and as part of my course I got involved in programming, having long since developed a taste for it.

At first I started with Pascal which I never really liked, I felt it was similar in the dynamics to what I had previously learnt on our home computer, and I wanted something more ‘meaty’.
I tried a different avenue, and so from there I moved onto Visual Basic 4.
Most of the applications I wrote were…well, I admit it…crap!

At the time, I held a steady weekend job DJing, playing mainly Trance, Happy Hardcore, Dance you know the stuff.

That was one of my high points of my life, entertaining people and getting paid for it.

At one stage, I did think of making a real go for it, but I had a major set-back as all my equipment was stolen.

My life from there started on its steady decline, my programming took a back seat, my DJing career was shattered and the company I worked for sold up, and as I thought things couldn’t get any worse…they inevitably did and I split from my girlfriend. At that stage, I was pretty low and my self-esteem was non-existent.

After around 8 months or so later I enrolled on a Diploma Course at Northern College, where I was a residential student for a year. This is where I met my partner and future wife, Babs. Who of course I love dearly and with all my heart.


As part of my Diploma, I successfully completed;

  • Database Design
  • Presenting and integrating information
  • Hardware design
  • Software Development (Basic level and distinction)

It was at Northern College that Destiny Creations was formed, which later changed in 2004 to RBCSoftware.

What is RBCSoftware and what is it all about?

After being homeless with my partner (well, sharing a living room floor with Babs at her friends home!), we finally managed to get the house we needed to make our life together.

I started work at one of the biggest electrical retailers in the UK, and stayed there for around 3 years before moving onto a better job, working for a firm who is nationally recognized for providing heating and energy saving solutions, EAGA.

The next biggest step in our lives was the birth of our beloved daughter Caitlin Mary, who was born on the 23rd of June 2004. 18 months later, I left my position at EAGA to support my partner, after it was identified that she was suffering from post-natal depression.

Since then, its not all doom and gloom, life has got better, and I feel more involved with Caitlin and her up-bringing, but of course this don’t pay the bills!

At the time of writing, I am currently looking for work and continuing my computer studies, self teaching PHP, MYSQL, Dark Basic and expanding on Visual Basic and .NET.

Some Further Reading

Further Education


G.N.V.Q Health and Social Care (Foundation)

Pass (credit) – (Unit 2) Understanding personal development and relationships

Pass (credit) – (Unit 3) Investigating work in health and social care

Pass (credit) – Introduction to child and adult psychology

Pass – St.Johns Ambulance Emergency First Aid (Adult & Child)


Pass – Arts and Craft Portfolio Building


Pass – City & Guilds Word Processing, Spreadsheets & Databases

RSA Typing Level 3

Visual Basic programming (Self taught)

Web Development (Self taught)

C++ (Developer Studio)


National Dimploma

Pass (Distinction) – Visual Basic Software Development

Pass – Database design

Pass – Presenting and integrating information

Pass – Hardware and operation

Work History


Local College *Not mentioning names for obvious reasons*

I.T Teacher

“Teaching basic computing to a varied age group, covering Microsoft products and the internet.”


Various locations


“No not a radio DJ or a crumby ‘wedding/birthday’ DJ, a Hardcore DJ!!! Playing varied styles such as ‘Happy Hardcore’, ‘Gabber’, ‘Progressive’ and ‘Hard style’, not doing it anymore as the equipment I had collected was stolen by a cheap, low life, leech on society ‘mo fo’ !!! ”


National Electrical Retailer *Again, not mentioning for obvious reasons*

Sales Advisor/Warehouse Manager

“Explains itself really, sell people electric goods, but believe me, its harder than it sounds, making people part with money. Even more so when your trying to convince them that the extended warrenty is ‘such good value’ even thought its ¬£200 more than the product they wanted.

Truth is, I was quite good at it too…but alas, the company was failing me in so many ways…”


Insulation company for and on behalf of EAGA*Sorry, no more details as above :o)*

Surveyor Coordinator

“Its my job to tell the surveyors where to go!!! Not in a bad way :o) I liase with customers from all over the country, but mainly with clients from the South of Wales and the West Midlands/Staffordshire/Leicestershire and Warwickshire areas. It is my job to see that they get the service we all would want, and I’m very, very good at customer service…even if I say so myself…which I do…so I must be right…


General Enquiries Customer Service Agent

I now work for a large energy provider on the nation-wide general enquiries hotline. In other words, I work in a call centre!!!

Useless facts about me

01) I (did) have a cat called “Lucky”

02) I have been coding since the age of 9

03) I have had (to date) exactly 46 mobile phones in 4 years (currently).

04) I seem to have more cuddly toys then anything else (why I dont know!)

05) I live 8 houses away from my mum, 10 houses away from my Auntie & Uncle, and I live next door to my other Auntie.

06) I shave once a day (usually)

07) On average I talk rubbish 7 out of 10 conversations.

08) I have a tattoo of an alien on my left thigh.

09) I have a tattoo of a devil on my left arm.

10) I have a tattoo of a angel on my right arm.

11) I have five piercings, three in left ear, one in right and one in nose.

12) I have fluff in my belly button most days :o/

13) I can sleep during designated work hours.

14) I am not strange just socially challenged.

15) My beanie duck is watching me as I type.

16) I have a level 42 Necromancer on Diablo II – Lord of Destruction.

17) My hair used to be so long, it was down passed the small of my back.

18) I have the ability to bore people in approximatly 5.43 seconds.

19) I have an unhealthy facination with “The Simpsons” (If you think I’m bad, you should hear my daughter on that subject!)

20) I quite enjoy a spot of Bullseye too.

21) I goto bed on average about 2.45am each morning (even when I’m due at work at 8am!)

Dumb Stuff

“Over the years, whilst being on the net, I’ve had some really dumb questions asked.

Here are some of the more stupid ones

These are genuine, and have been collected over the years from various message boards, usergroups, personal emails and polls I have replied to.

01. How big is your penis

REPLY. Small enough to fit in my pocket, and big enough to do the job.

02. How old are you?

REPLY. Varies from year to year

03. Where are you from originally?

REPLY. My mothers stomach.

04. Are you always a stupid or did you train for it?

REPLY. I studied.

05. I can code better than you, what you got to say about that?

REPLY. And?!

06. Do you want to cyber?

REPLY. No, the harsh reality is that typing sexual acts based upon your own sexual proclivities, is by far boring and rather odd.

Get a life you sad people.

07. Your so funny you make me laugh….Not

REPLY. Excellent.

08. Can I have your e-mail address?

REPLY. NO! Get your own.

09. Your site is crap!

REPLY. Never-the-less, your ‘re still here reading this!

10. I’m going to find out where you live and kill you.

REPLY. Take a ticket and get in the queue.

11. There’s a rumor going around on the internet you got a 12″ Penis, is it true?.

REPLY. It should be, I started it!.

12. What annoys you the most?.

REPLY. People asking me “What annoys you the most?”

13. Are you really a DJ?

REPLY. Yes, well used to be between 1998-2002.

14. Who do you work for?

REPLY. British Non-intelligence.

15. What’s your ideal girl?

REPLY. The ones that says “YES”.

16. What’s your favorite drink?

REPLY. Liquid.

17. Can you send me an e-mail?

REPLY. Eventually.

18. Can I have your babies?

REPLY. For the day or an hour???.

19. Do you have any good jokes?

REPLY. You!.

20. Are you gay?

REPLY. There’s nothing wrong with listening to “Spandau Ballet”.

(Just kidding!)

21. What computer do you have?

REPLY. My own, what you heard?, I got receipts, who’s been saying…….

22. I’m going to send you a virus

REPLY. Beechams on standby.

23. Would you ever use Viagra?

REPLY. No, mind you on saying that, I did once, got stuck in my throat, had a stiff neck for days :o)

24. What is the square root of 3,532,210?

REPLY. Why the hell would someone even ask that?

25. You have a very aggressive personality which I find most offensive!

REPLY. Yeah! and your ugly!

26. How would you recommend getting 3 in a bed?

REPLY. Buy a schizophrenic a drink.

27. I bet your a sad, bedroom programmer, am I right?

REPLY. Yes [Sniffle].

28. You sound like a cool guy, can we meet up?


29. What scares you the most?


30. What do you like most in the whole wide world?


31. You fat, bearded git!

REPLY. GOOD LOOKING fat, bearded git to you

32. Why do you never answer your e-mails?

REPLY. Because I’m too busy usually, if you are desperate for a response mark the e-mail as urgent

Well, that’s me in a nutshell.

Of course, I haven’t had chance to mention or go into detail about my partner and I, and how we have lived in nearly every village within a 10 mile radius, or how we coped with various personal struggles. But thats better left unsaid :o)

I thank you for taking time to read this, and I hope that it has given you some insight into the guy that brought you RBCSoftware. Check our more of me with the tests I have taken online

Kindest Regards